Secrets in Love
by MissBunburyHope
Summary: "I don't need to keep the baby, Peeta. It's a mistake and you don't deserve to be haunted by it. I could abort it or you could have nothing to do with it." "Hear that, baby? Mummy wants to get rid of you. She thinks I won't love you. I already do." AU
1. Prologue: Three Years Later

**Secrets in Love **

**_"I don't need to keep the baby, Peeta. It's a mistake and you don't deserve to be haunted by it. I could abort it or you could have nothing to do with it." "Hear that, baby? Mummy wants to get rid of you. She thinks I won't love you. I already do." After Katniss lost her two best friends to war, she was distraught until a certain baker with a secret crown helped her to recover. AU_**

* * *

**Prologue: Three Years Later**

"Mummy! Wake up, mummy!" shouts an excited voice as my daughter runs into my room and jumps onto my bed, before crawling over to me and grinning in my sleepy face.

"Good morning, princess," I reply, opening my eyes and returning her smile. "What's with the early morning wakeup call?" I ask, although I'm perfectly aware of the answer.

"It's my birthday!" she answers, getting up again and bouncing in circles.

I sit up and laugh as I watch her, catching her when she falls over, too dizzy to stand up any longer. "And what do you want to do today then?" I say, resting my forehead against hers.

"You said we could make cakes. I want to make cakes!" she admits, smiling still.

"Well then, cakes it is," I agree, lifting her to the floor as I slide out of bed too, pulling a dressing gown off the end of the bed and wrapping it around myself.

She grabs my hand and runs back into her room before we can head downstairs, though, leading me over to her wardrobe and throwing it open first. "Can I wear a dress?"

I laugh again. "You can wear whatever you want."

She nods as she drags a stool over so she can stand on it to see all of her clothes on a closer inspection. I smile as I watch her, leaning up against the doorway as I run a hand through the slight waves of my long dark hair. It doesn't take her long to throw out most of her clothes, though, just so that she can choose a soft blue dress that matches the hairband she picks up once she's jumped off of the stool.

I roll my eyes as she begins changing into the dress on her own, leaving me to pick up the ones she threw to the side. By the time I've finished doing that, placing them back on their hangers, shutting the cupboard door and replacing the stool to its original position, I turn around and smile when I see my little girl waiting for me to finish, a smile on her face as she watches me.

"Are you done now, princess?" I ask.

"I'm no _princess_," she complains, crossing her arms over her chest as a pretend frown etches itself across her face.

"Whatever you say, Dee," I mutter, running over to her and scooping her into my arms so I can run down the stairs and then spin her in circles once we hit the floor.

"Let me go, mummy!" she shouts, even though she laughs as I carry on going, only stopping before I fall over.

As I place her on the floor, she runs into the kitchen before me, climbing onto a chair and watching me over the top as I get out the ingredients for the cakes that she's _desperately_ wanted to make for weeks but I've saved until today. I put them on the table and I take a gentle hold of her little hands as I stand behind her, guiding her as she works through it all. I'm hoping more than anything that this will go well because I'm nothing like her father was when it comes to baking, and I really don't want to spoil these for her.

However, the phone suddenly rings and I kiss the top of her head, instructing her not to do anything without me, before leaving the kitchen and picking up the phone off the wall and the hallway. "Hello?" I say, pushing a book back onto the side with my elbow as I talk.

"Hello girl on fire," answers the voice on the other end of the line.

I drop the phone as I fall to the floor as well, my face resting in my hands. I haven't heard his voice since I called him up after they sent me a letter for _his death _and I had to call him to take my anger out with someone I hated, and he seemed like the only person to blame as well. Slowly, I reach back out for the phone and pick it up, whispering, "What are you doing, calling me? I said I was done with-"

"I don't care what you said, I am calling you back," he interrupts, making me shiver as I draw my knees up to my chest.

"No." I try and say it with determination but I know he can see right through it. "You can't make me."

"In fact, I _can_," he argues, an ugly smirk drawn across his face, I'm sure. "If you didn't come to see me today, young Finnick Odair could be in trouble, for I hear that he often wanders across soldiers when they're training and it's always an unfortunate accident when one of their guns goes off without meaning to."

"No," I repeat, but there's no determination this time, just desperation that I can't impose, because I can't let Nick get hurt. "Don't touch him."

"Then come and see me today, it's that simple," he reasons. "You know I wouldn't joke about something like that. You've seen it happen before."

Then it hits me, the reason that I will use to not see him. "You killed him!" I shout. "He was your brother and you _still _let him die!"

"It's not me who gets to choose who dies and who lives," he replies, sounding as calm as he did at the beginning of the conversation. "And anyway, it was you who decided to go into the army and it was your fault that you had to be separated-"

I slam the phone back onto its holder before he has another chance to speak. I can't listen to him anymore, not that I ever could. But my problem is that I doubt that he's lying, and I can't risk it anyway. If he really does go for Nick, how long will it be before he gets Dandelion? I don't want to put her or anyone else into the firing line of something that I could avoid if I just went along with what that disgusting piece of work asked for.

I cover my face in my hands before a tear has the chance of escaping my eyes, taking a few deep breaths to steady myself before sighing. I quickly run back to my room and throw off my dressing gown and pyjamas, replacing them almost instantly with a strapless red dress with a skirt to my knees. I grab a jacket to throw on top of that and am putting it over my shoulders as I turn around to meet the worried eyes of my daughter. Without thinking, I walk straight over to her and envelop her into a hug, not caring about the flour that covers her.

"What was that, mummy?" she asks quietly.

"It doesn't matter, sweetheart," I reply, kissing her cheek.

"But you didn't sound happy," she begins.

"I'm the happiest I could be," I correct. "It's your birthday and that's all that matters."

She nods her head slowly on my shoulder. "Can we finish those cakes then?"

I nod as well, picking her up again and carrying her back downstairs. "We should take them with us to see Nick and Annie."

She shuffles on my hip, resting her chin on my shoulder. "Are we going to see them then?"

"Of course we are!" I answer. "We always do."

She smiles as she climbs from my side and back to her place on the chair. Together, we finish the cake mixture, putting them in the oven and then icing them one they're out and cooled. As soon as they're dry, we put them in a box and I put them under my arm as we make our way out of our house and down to the Palace, where they stay.

"Mummy?" whispers Dandelion at my side, jumping in front of me to get my attention as we begin walking down the road.

"Yes, sweetie, what is?" I reply, stopping my walk as I kneel down in front of her.

"Will you tell me the story of you and Peeta?" she asks softly, a smile across her flushed cheeks as she stares up at me with the beautiful blue eyes that she inherited from her father.

I sigh as I stand back up, beginning to walk again. "You don't need to hear that story," I decide, my voice firmer than it ever usually is with my daughter. "It's not important."

"But I _want _to hear it, mummy," she whines, grabbing my leg and refusing to move.

"Dee, let go," I instruct, as strongly as I dare, still not looking at her.

"Not until you tell me," she bargains.

I sigh again as I stop moving, only to sit on the ground in the middle of the street. She automatically climbs onto my lap and curls into a ball, my arms wrapping around her without thinking. The thing is, it's not that she _shouldn't _hear it, because she will eventually anyway. It's that I'm scared of telling her and I'm scared of what her response will be. As well, I think I might be a little scared too. I've avoided the subject of talking about her father as much as physically possible and I'm not completely sure if I want her to be the one to break down that wall, no matter how much I love her.

"Please, mummy," she pleads again, her face close to mine.

To be honest, I didn't even realise that I blanked out, so I slowly nod, pushing her back down onto my lap. I go to take a deep breath before beginning but then I don't know where to start, how to explain our story to the daughter that never knew or never will know her father. Then, I slowly decided to make it into a story, in the distant hope that it will therefore make it easier for me to tell and for her to know.

"Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a large area of land that they called Panem. They split this into thirteen Districts and one "Capitol", which was to be the head of all the land. The king of the Capitol was a very powerful and a very mean man, and he didn't like it if something didn't go his way. So, he made a lesser king of each of the Districts, but these were people he knew so that he could control them. However, some didn't follow what he said after they were given power and these were punished; this is why District Thirteen disappeared one day and why some of the other Districts were nearly forgotten too.

"Now, District Twelve was the poorest District in the whole of Panem, even though the people that worked there had to work the hardest and they all had to risk their lives, just so that their family would survive. But you couldn't see this when you went to the District, all you could see was the coal dust from their mines and then starving people. These people made the most of what they had, though, and some of them were happy with what they could manage to get. Other people could get hardly anything and they had to risk more than was safe; some would venture into the restricted areas of the District just so that they could hunt.

"Two of the people who did this were a young girl and her best friend. They were both from the poorest half of District Twelve and they both had younger members of their family that they had to look after, as well as themselves. The reason that they had become friends was because both of their fathers had been in a mining explosion and they both died, like the rest of the men that had been there. That explosion had left a lot of families without a father to provide them with the money and food that they desperately needed, so these two friends took it upon themselves to try and help everyone else."

"Did Peeta work in the mines?" interrupts the little girl on my lap suddenly.

I shake my head. "No, he was too important for that. And as well, he lived on the Merchant side of the District. That was the part of the District where all the richer people lived, the people who owned the shops, so that they didn't have to work in the mines. The people from there looked different too. Merchant people had blonde hair and blue eyes, Seam people- the other side of the District- had dark hair and grey eyes. Now, sssh, let me finish the story that you asked for," I add before she has the chance to speak again.

"The accident had a bad effect on some families, especially the family of the young girl. In her family, other than her, was her younger sister and her mother. Her sister was of course upset about it but, even combined with her sister's grief, neither could add up to their mother's. She spent all of her time staring at the wall, not really even there for her two daughters, both of who needed her comfort. This is why the older sister had to hunt, but it slowly became not enough.

"The older girl was called Katniss Everdeen and she was probably the poorest in the District, because her mother had been no help after her father's death. She tried the hardest that she physically could to get money and food from her hunting but, when her mother disappeared one day and her sister became ill, it was no longer satisfactory. Both of her parents had died and her sister was dying. She needed to find job and she needed to find one fast.

"It was both fortunate and unfortunate that Katniss was beautiful. Fortunate in the fact that her beauty got her a job, unfortunate in the fact that her job was horrible. She was kind of lucky because, for this job, she was working for the princes of District Twelve. They would pay a lot of money for her but it still didn't make it any more bearable because she still had to do the job that other men would pay for, just for a lot more money."

"Why didn't she get another job then?" the little girl asks suddenly, prompting me to look at my watch.

I sigh, standing up and lifting her to my hip so I can walk fast. "Because she needed the money and no one else was able to pay as much. And then, on top of that, they were so powerful that they could threaten the lives of people she loved if she didn't do as they wanted her to."

"They don't sound very nice," she whispers.

"You're right," I agree, "they would have been a horrible king. But, unknown to Katniss, she was only serving two of the princes, whilst there were actually three. You see, the third son was the youngest son and he didn't really want to have anything to do with his family. However, he had no choice but to because his two older brothers had already decided that they didn't want to be king, leaving it up to him. But he was different to the rest of his family because _he_ was nice and kind and a gentleman. On top of that, he was handsome; he looked just like someone from the Merchant side of the District and he pretended to be one too, working in a normal bakery so people wouldn't suspect him as the future king, unless they knew who he was."

"I like the sound of him," she admits.

A smile crosses my lips as I nod, kissing the top of your head. "You should, because he's Peeta."

The little girl gasps and clings tighter to my arm. "Please tell me more about him, mummy!"

"I was going to!" I promise. "Just wait, we have to get to him in the story first. Now, before you find out more about Peeta, Katniss had another couple of friends as well: Finnick and Annie. They both helped out at the Palace as well, so they lived there with their son-"

"Nick!" she finishes.

I laugh. "Yes, Nick. So, Katniss knew them because Annie would help her get ready for her job but also keep the things that she needed in her room, because Katniss couldn't keep them at home. She couldn't have any clues about her job at her home, just in case anyone found out; only Finnick and Annie knew because she wanted to keep it as much of a secret as possible, for her job wasn't very respectable and she wasn't proud of it in the slightest.

"It was a few months after Katniss had started her job that she met up with her best friend on a Sunday. She could only meet up with him on the Sunday because he _had _to work in the mines, like his father, as he needed the money and he reached the age at which it was compulsory to do so. But they didn't have the usual nice day that they would have, spending time with each other as they used to, because her best friend told her that he would be going away for another job: he was going to work in the army. Katniss was really upset, although she tried not to show it, and it was even worse when she found out that he was going the next day, so she made Finnick promise to look after him, because he was going too.

"The two older princes were the army generals so they had gone away, leaving Katniss without a job, whilst she still had to look after her sister, her best friend's family, and help with Annie and Nick. So, she searched elsewhere for the same job, she just got less money for it and was possibly treated even worse than she was when she was with the two princes. But, again, she had to do it because she needed the money to keep everyone else alive, not just herself. She also still hunted, so they could have meat and then save the money that she got from trading some of the meat in to get other things, like bread and medicine for her sister.

"A while later, the brothers returned and treated her worse than they had before. But she tried to fight back because they only came back after their latest brigade had all been killed in a raid on their camp. This meant that both Katniss' best friend and Finnick had been killed."

"No!" gasps Dandelion.

I nod, biting my lip. "Katniss had lost her two best friends in one explosion and she didn't know what to do, because the two princes expected her to act the same. So she ran away. She didn't want to talk to people that she really knew so she ran to Peeta, when he was still working in the bakery in Town, because she knew that he had been friends with Finnick as well. Katniss was crying when she reached Peeta and he looked like he had been too, so she took him back to her home so that they could talk privately.

"For a long time, they were just talking together, not just about Finnick and Katniss' best friend, but about other things too, so that they could distract themselves from what had just happened. It was just before Peeta was about to leave that he said he was glad that she had come to see him, not just so they could make each other feel better but so that they could just talk, as he said that he was always too scared to really strike up a conversation with her before. She asked why and he said that he loved her."

"Really, mummy?" she questions, smiling slightly.

I smile too. "Yes, of course he did. He said that he had loved her for years, since his first day of tutoring, when he heard her singing outside of his window and she distracted him for the rest of the day. Katniss didn't want to say anything like that back because she always said that she wouldn't get married, but she secretly liked him a little bit too. He was handsome and kinder to her than any other man was. So they kissed and a little more as well. But they didn't really tell anyone else what happened, although Katniss' sister and Annie made the correct guesses.

"The next day, they went back to the Palace to see Annie and Nick. When Peeta left, however, one of the princes came into the room and took Katniss away too. He tried to get her to do her original job again but, although she needed the money, she no longer thought she could handle it and so she hit out. But he hit out even harder, knocking her unconscious and nearly killing her. She wouldn't have recovered so well if Peeta hadn't found her and taken her back to his house, nursing her back to health. He was lucky that she trusted him because, after what the prince had done to her, she couldn't trust anyone and hardly let anyone touch her, even to fix her wounds. She trusted Peeta more than anything, even though she had only just begun talking to him.

"The problem came when she finally persuaded Peeta to let her go home, under the promise that her sister would look after her. The truth was that she was still embarrassed by her job and she didn't want him to find out what she did. Because she needed to go back, even if she hated those who it involved. This time, though, she didn't go back to the princes at first, until they again began threatening the people she loved. She was forced to go back and she then tried to avoid Peeta, despite how much she secretly wanted to see him.

"It was three months after their first proper meeting when Peeta finally persuaded her to meet with him. He took her to a meadow for a picnic but Katniss ran away when he told her that he was the third prince; this meant that he was part of her work. So she ran away and hid from him and the rest of the world for the following week, for one reason: because she was ill, the second: she was scared."

"Why was she scared?" Dandelion asks softly, leaning her head on my shoulder.

I cradle her face in my hand as I say, "She didn't want the boy she liked to find out what her job was, especially as she was technically working for him too. So she didn't go out anywhere, including to her work. She knew it was a big risk but a bigger risk was the possibility of seeing Peeta. But, he still seemed to find her because her sister would provide her with different breads of baked goods every day, all freshly baked. Katniss never personally saw him, though, until a few days later: her birthday.

"The day started off the same way that it had for the past week: she woke up, walked over to the window to watch the sunrise, and then she threw up. She was very ill but she didn't want to tell anyone. Her sister asked her to dress up nice for her birthday and, after a lot of persuasion, she finally did. She went downstairs, dressed nice and her sister gave Katniss her presents to open, until she reached the last one and looked up to meet Peeta's eyes. He lead her outside and told her that he knew what her job and he didn't care, he just wanted to be able to hold her and tell her that he loved her for the rest of her life. He also told her that if he didn't find someone to marry by the time he was eighteen, his future wife would be chosen by the King of Panem. She didn't understand what this had to do with her until he got down on one knee and proposed to her."

"She said yes, didn't she?" worries my daughter out loud.

"What else would she have said?" I reply. "She loved that boy like crazy, even if she would never have admitted it before. He was the best thing to ever happen to her and, although she tried to avoid him for a few months, she could never stop thinking about him. Her sister was scared of something, though, and she gave Katniss a test to take whilst she stayed downstairs with Peeta, who promised to get her a proper treatment so she could become fully healed.

"When she came back downstairs, she gave him the test to find out the result first. She wasn't sure if she could deal with either of the answers, if it was positive or not. She never planned to get married, let alone have children. It seemed that Peeta would be her one exception, though, as he revealed to her that she was pregnant. At first, she told him that she didn't have to keep the baby if he didn't want her to or he could even have nothing to do with it when it was born. But he told her that he would love her and the baby, whatever her decision, and so she kept it.

"They didn't reveal her pregnancy or their engagement properly until they'd both left school, though. It was only when they were at a meal with Peeta's family that people began to notice things, but they ran away before the end of it because his older brother's began to tease Katniss about the job she had quit. Peeta followed her away to talk to her and he persuaded her to let the two then married in secret, just so their child would have a definite relationship when they were born.

"But, despite this, Katniss still wanted to get his brothers back, and so she persuaded Peeta to let her into the army for the few months when the Capitol were treating her sister. He went with her and they arrived at the army camp to meet their general, but who he was scared them both. He was Gale Hawthorne, Katniss' best friend. At first, she was pleased to see him because she thought he was dead, but then she thought that maybe Finnick was alive too. No one answered her question and she didn't tell him about her relationship with Peeta, so they went on with their lives as if they were normal soldiers.

"They were two months into their service when Gale finally found out about Katniss and Peeta, when he walked into their tent as Peeta was talking to Katniss' stomach and their baby. He ordered their separation but there was little that he could do, because they were to make an important raid that day and those two were their best fighting pair. So he let them stay together, just for one more day.

"When they got to the area that they were to be working against, Katniss spotted the nurses going into the village to help the children before they began their raid. It didn't take her long to realise that one of them was her sister. She tried to call out to her but she was silenced before she gave away their position. But then a bomb went off in the middle of the village before anyone had the chance to escape, one which the opposing side had planned because it meant that their side couldn't enter the village as they had planned."

"What happened to her sister?" Dandelion asks softly.

I sigh, sitting down on the coal dusted grass and glancing up at the Palace we've just arrived at, momentarily meeting the eyes of the man who called me here. But I don't really care what he thinks; I'll get there eventually, whether or not I'm late. Then I shut my eyes as I answer, "She died then. Katniss ran out to try and reach her but all she could see were flames and all she could hear were the guns around her as the rest of her group started shooting anyone from the other side who escaped. But Katniss fell unconscious then and missed the action, only coming around once Peeta carried her back to the hospital and waited by her side until she did."

Despite my shut eyes, a tear rolls down my cheek at all of the memories as they begin to come flooding back to me. "It's okay, mummy," my daughter whispers, clambering up so that her face is level with mine. She wipes away the tear with her warm hand and then kisses where it fell to. "It was only a story," she adds, resting her forehead against mine.

I nod at her words but we both know they're not true; I know it because I lived it and she knows it because she's clever for a three years old. "It doesn't finish there, princess," I say slowly, opening my eyes and looking at her, standing on my lap and looking worriedly at me, surprisingly like her father.

"You can finish it there," she argues.

"No, you asked the story of me and Peeta so I'm going to tell you the whole thing," I promise, holding her hands gently as I go to continue. "When Katniss woke up, she first smiled at Peeta but then began crying because she remembered what happened. On top of that, she was terrified that, in the process of running out into the battlefield, she had lost their baby. She didn't get the chance to ask, though, before Gale came in and ordered Peeta to leave, just as he had earlier."

"I'm not sure if I like Gale," she admits. "He shouldn't split up Peeta and Katniss."

I laugh slightly and nod. "I'm probably not selling him well but he was really a lovely man too, just very different to Peeta; Gale and Katniss were so similar that people often used to mistake them as family. But Gale was just jealous of Peeta and that's why he tried to keep them apart, and then he fought Peeta to keep him away. Peeta was possibly stronger than Gale, even though he had been working in the army and the mines for a few years, but their fight was still close until Gale's boss came in, took Gale away and ordered Katniss to go home.

"She followed his commands after a lot of arguing and left Peeta to finish his work in the army on his own. But when she got home, she spent almost all day crying. Luckily or not, she didn't keep track of time of when her husband was to come back, until it was the day before and Annie and Nick came around to help her prepare for his return because, when he returned, he would turn eighteen and take over the role of king from his ill father.

"The following day, Katniss spent all of at the train station, watching every train come in and leave, waiting for Peeta to step off and begin talking to her and their unborn baby again. She didn't see him come, though, so she spent the night there and then the following day as well, until she was presented with a formal letter from another soldier who got off the train and was instructed to look for her. And so she got the letter formalising the de- disappearance of her husband, who probably sacrificed himself in battle on the morning of their return, which meant that he never turned eighteen, that he never became king, and that he never got to see their daughter."

By the time that I've finished talking, tears have begun falling again but I squeeze my eyes shut before too many do, knowing that it would be unfair to make Dandelion cope with a weak mother like this. I know what it was like to live with a mother who couldn't cope with anything and I wouldn't want to wish that on my own daughter, especially at such a young age. And so I pull her tightly to my chest and rest my chin on her shoulder, kissing the side of her face before whispering into her ear, "You know that I love you more than anything, don't you, Dee? You know that I'd do anything for you and that you are the most important thing in my life, without a doubt, don't you?"

"I know, mummy, I love you too," she replies, kissing my cheek in return. "I won't let anything happen to you. Ever."

A sad smile crosses my face as I smile, leaning back and offering my hand out to her. "Come on then, let's take you to see Annie and Nick. I just need to sort something out so that we can have the rest of the day to ourselves."

She nods as she takes my hand, skipping along next to me as we begin making our way back up the drive and to the Palace. She hums the tune of one of the songs that I sing her to sleep with, but stays silent otherwise as we walk along, only stopping to look at me when we reach Annie and Nick, and I smile to them both. She grabs the corner of the skirt of my dress and tugs me down to her level, looking seriously at me as she asks, "Do you promise me that Katniss stopped the job she wasn't proud of?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Pardon?"

"Please, mummy, I'm worried about her. That job was bad for her and I don't want her to still do it," she explains, her question surprising me.

I sigh. "Yes, she stopped it after she married Peeta and the princes couldn't use threats to make her do things because she was important to the District as well."

"Good." She nods her head and smiles at me.

"I'll see you in a minute then," I say quietly, kissing her forehead and then standing up, watching her as she makes her way over to Annie and Nick, who takes hold of her hand and leads her over to the couple of presents wrapped up in pink, that are in front of his mother.

As soon as she sits down, I turn away and quickly leave the room and run up a flight of stairs to where I saw the man waiting for me. I walk into the room and shut the door behind me again, looking to the window where I saw him, but not finding him there.

"Looking for someone?" a smooth voice from behind me asks, making me begin to turn around but not before their hands have appeared on my shoulders, freezing me into place.

"What do you want?" I reply, keeping my voice as steady as possibly.

"I thought it would be obvious," he mutters, leaning his face closer to my neck so that his breath hits my bare skin as he runs his hands under my jacket to uncover me more. "I think it would be a good idea for you to return to your original job. You're beginning to need the money aren't you?"

I shake my head, although I know that it's a lie. I can only look after Dandelion for a little while longer with the money that Peeta left us before I will have to start looking for a job.

He laughs and it makes me shiver; it's such an unpleasant sound, so different to the laughs that I love to hear. "We both know that's not true, and it doesn't matter what you think anyway, does it? As long as I have guards to my command, I can threaten anyone and everyone."

"You're not going to go near Willow," I say weakly, my voice cracking slightly as I try to stop the thoughts of my daughter being hurt from appearing in my mind.

"I never said that _I _had to, did I?" he reasons, turning me around and backing me into the wall where he was standing before. "It's my guards that would be doing the work for me."

"_No one's _going near her," I argue, but I know that nothing I do will stop him doing what he wants.

"I'd like to see you try and stop me," he hisses. "And anyway, I can promise you that she'll be a warrior by the time she's sixteen," he challenges, bringing his lips down to my neck, where he begins roughly kissing me.

My head falls back and I clench my fists, gritting my teeth as I force myself to not hit out like I have before, because that's only caused problems for myself that only Peeta could solve. But he was nothing like this, never so rough and uncaring about me; he was always so sweet to me and I was the first thing on his mind. The sad thing is, though, I'm beginning to forget the little things about him that used to mean so much; the way he smelt when he returned from the bakery, the way it felt whenever he brushed a stray piece of hair to behind my ear, the way he looked as he tried to sketch me without me noticing.

The most important things that I'll never be able to forget are the things that I can still see, even if they're not always where I want to see them. True, I love seeing his eyes on the face of our daughter, her eyes still shining happily up at me, even though she's sad deep down. But I only see his hair on the brother that makes me do things that I'm embarrassed of. Luckily, that's their only resemblance but they're still related and that means that me and my daughter are related to him too, something that I would erase without a second thought if I had the chance to.

"You seem distracted today, girl on fire," he whispers before slamming my lips to mine and making me gasp with the force behind his actions.

I can't pull myself away until he bites my lip and draws blood, making me automatically punch him in the side of the face. He stumbles back and it takes me just a split second to realise what I just did, causing me to grab my jacket and run down the stairs and out of the Palace without a second glance, not slowing down for anyone, especially when I hear the Palace's guards beginning to follow me too.

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**Author's Note: So, a long one-shot type thing at the moment; it will eventually be an actual story but I need to finish my other ones first and I wanted to get this prologue up today. Anyway, I would ****_really _****like to hear if you think it's worth continuing because the next chapters of this story (and probably most of the story) will be a flashback to when Katniss and Peeta meet. This will mean that the "story" that Katniss tells her daughter (her official name is Willow Pearl but everyone that knows her calls her Dandelion!) is actually told and you don't just have what she tells as a story.**

**Thank you for reading and please, please, ****_please _****review!**


	2. Chapter 1: Goodbyes

**Secrets in Love**

**_"I don't need to keep the baby, Peeta. It's a mistake and you don't deserve to be haunted by it. I could abort it or you could have nothing to do with it." "Hear that, baby? Mummy wants to get rid of you. She thinks I won't love you. I already do." After Katniss lost her two best friends to war, she was distraught until a certain baker with a secret crown helped her to recover. AU_**

* * *

**Chapter One- Goodbyes**

(Katniss)

"Catnip, is it okay that I need talk to you about something serious?" asks Gale softly, sitting down next to me on the sun warmed rock.

I nod, not trusting myself enough to speak. I know what he's going to say- even though he doesn't know this, I've known for a few days- but it still hasn't sunk in.

"I've finally got a job like you," he begins.

I scoff. If he's got a job like me, it should be nothing to be proud of. He should bury his head in shame, in fact, like I do in front of anyone who doesn't know the truth. I look at him, though, and cover up, "Sorry. That was a cough, not a laugh. What's your job?"

He bites his lip. "It's not really a job..." He trails off and I sit up straighter, moving closer to him. "I've signed up for the army. I'm going to be a soldier in the battle that's fighting against everything _I'm_ against."

I sigh, moving away before shutting my eyes, as I rest my chin on my knees. I was half hoping that seeing him walk into that office two days ago was a mistake. I can't lose him in war; he's my best and only proper friend.

"I just have to do this. You know how much I hate the government, so this is the perfect opportunity," he tries to explain. "As well, I can't live by working in the mines for the rest of my life, and the money they'll send back will be better for my family. I might ask them if they can split some with you-"

"I know you hate the government, Gale," I mutter, opening my eyes to look at him. "And you'll be a great soldier there. But don't bother splitting the money, your family needs it and it's not mine to take."

"What's the problem then?" he asks, able to notice I'm feeling something, but obviously not sure what.

"I'm worried I'll lose you, Gale," I explain, standing up. "I've already lost mum and dad, and Prim's so ill. You're my best friend and I can't risk being without you." I stand up, turning away to stow my bow and arrows in the trunk and under the roots, hiding them so that only I can find them.

"Katniss," he sighs, making me tense up. He only uses my real name when he's particularly adamant or desperate for me to take him seriously.

"Yeah?" I reply, kicking some earth over to cover the hiding hole as he walks to behind me.

"I won't be gone for long, half a year at the most," he promises, his voice wavering a little.

"Things could still happen in that time," I remind him, throwing my bag of game over my shoulder and walking away as I stuff my hands in my pockets.

"I won't let them." He puts his weapon away in a crack in a neighbouring tree and grabs his game too, jogging to catch up with me.

However, I've walked fast and I'm slipping under the fence by the time he's reached me. I don't answer him, though, as I make my way under and begin walking through the District, unusually jumpy because I keep looking around for any soldiers coming my way; he'll be one like them soon. Due to this, I jump when Gale taps my shoulder, but I continue on anyway to the Hob instead of turning to face him.

"I didn't think you'd take it this way. I thought you'd be okay with it," he admits once I reach the first stall, following me as I make my trades, although _I_ don't really pay attention to what I'm doing.

He carries on talking but I stop listening after then, telling myself that it's going to be the same argument over and over again. There's only so much he can see and whatever it is, it's not going to convince me in any way or ever make me change my mind.

"Listen, Gale," I finally say once I've finished my trades, finally turning to concentrate on something. The first thing I notice is both of his hands are on my shoulders, his grey eyes staring into mine. "We need to talk about this at another time, one when I'm not so busy. I've got work in an hour and I need to be there on time."

I walk away before he has the chance to argue again, heading for the bakery in Town. I slip around to the back and push the door open, nodding slightly at the boy in there. He's in my year at school but, strangely, he only joined this year, after we've reached the end of our courses. All the other girls follow him around, though, because they say that there's something special about him. Sure, he's good looking, but there's nothing really different about him in comparison to the other Merchant boys and he's probably as obnoxious as the rest; in fact, I know he's the leader of one of the two school gangs of my year.

At the sight of me, he looks up and smiles, the soft smile lighting up his flour covered face and revealing his dimples. "How was hunting today?" he asks, like he does every day.

I shrug. "Not bad. I got some good trades from it."

"What have you got for here then?" he questions, dropping the dough and wiping his hands on his apron.

I throw him my bag and he catches it easily, dumping three squirrels out on the side. He inspects them and then walks away without a word. I lean up in the doorway, waiting for him to return from the ovens, finding no reason to move elsewhere.

When he comes back, he walks to me and hands me the bag, his strong hands holding mine for just a fraction of a second. "You're right, it wasn't a bad hunt," he agrees as he walks back to the dough.

I roll my eyes and glance inside of the bag, groaning when I see what he's put in there. "It doesn't deserve one, let alone two."

"I thought it was worth it," he argues. "And if it didn't, I'll just make some more bread so they don't know."

"But you always give me more than it's worth," I complain. "I don't like the charity."

"The charity?" he repeats, looking up at me and running a hand through his soft blonde curls.

"Don't play that act, you know that I'm one of the poorest in the whole District," I whisper, looking away.

"I didn't know-" he starts, his pale, flour covered cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

"Well, I am," I snap, kind of regretting it by the look his blue eyes give me. "And I try to do as well for Prim as I possibly can."

He sighs. "Take the extra bit this time and I promise I'll never do charity again."

I nod. "Thanks." I walk away without another word, throwing my bag onto my shoulder and running back home. Prim should only just be awake so it should be okay to just be coming home.

When I quietly open the door a fraction so that it doesn't creak, I shut it and then creep upstairs, glancing into the bedroom and seeing that my little sister's still asleep, the horrible cat of hers guarding her. I put my game bag on the table and then walk into the kitchen, heating up some water over the fire. Once that's done, I slip into the grimy bathroom with the hot water, washing myself of the dirt from hunting today.

I step out of the bathroom, wrapping a rag around my thin body, and get shivers when I walk out into the cold of the house. I silently make my way to my cupboard and pull out one of my nicer dresses: a mid-thigh length, black form fitting one. I pull it over my head and into place, but then cover it with my hunting clothes again so no one sees it.

As I hear movement behind me, I walk over to Prim's bed and sit next to her, stroking the hair off her forehead to kiss it, before whispering, "Good morning, little duck."

I get a muffled, "Quack," in reply, drawing a slight smile across my face; she's the only one who can ever make me _really _smile.

"Do you want some breakfast?" I ask, lifting her up into a sitting position.

"Did you get something today then?" she squeals in excitement at the thought of some proper food, instead of the usual grainy food that we have to make ourselves.

"Yeah, come on." I pick her up and carry her to the table, putting her in the cushioned seat and then taking the one next to it. I take one of the loaves out of the bag and break some off, taking some of her goat's cheese and spreading it across the two pieces.

After taking a piece from me, she takes a bite and grins. "This is the best food I've had in a long time," she admits, wriggling around in her chair and taking another bite.

"Savour it then, we don't want to waste it," I warn, although silently agreeing with her.

When we've both finished, I put the remainder of the bread in a cupboard and then carry Prim back to the other room, helping her get dressed. I put her in a pale blue dress to match her eyes, the skirt falling below her knees and a piece of string necessary to tie around her waist; she's so thin again, she's getting really weak. _She's_ the reason why I have to work.

"Come on, let's take you to see Rory," I say, picking her up and carrying her on my hip as if she were a baby.

"I see the others too," she argues, her pale cheeks turning a little pink.

"I know," I laugh, kissing them.

"You should come and see Gale one day," she suggests, resting her head on my shoulder. "You only see each other when you go hunting. You can't talk much then."

"No, I suppose we don't," I agree. "Maybe I will when I get the time."

"Good." She smiles. "I think he misses being with you."

"Why would he miss me?" I ask.

"I don't know, ask him," she decides, pushing my arms away as she slides to the ground.

I cringe as I watch her, worried, as always, that she's just going to snap in two. "I will another day," I promise, kneeling on the ground in front of her and kissing her forehead. "I've really got to go to work now."

"Okay," she sighs. "But promise me that you will because there's a lot you could be missing out on." She pushes the door open and runs inside, leaving it swinging on its hinges, before I have the chance to enquire further.

I sigh as well as I stand up, reaching out to shut it, only to have it opened further by Gale. "Oh, hey," I mutter, looking away from his face, not bothering to wonder what Prim meant.

"I thought you needed to be at work," he mentions.

"Yeah, I'm on my way there now," I tell him. "Is it possible to talk later-"

"I'm going tomorrow," he interrupts.

"What?" I shout, lifting my eyes to stare at him. "You only signed up two days ago. You can't be going now."

"If you sign up late, they do the training when we go," he explains. "I was the last to sign up and, to be fair, they shouldn't have actually let me in. I'm really sorry, Catnip."

I throw my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder, trying desperately not to let a tear fall. "I can't believe you're going, Gale," I whisper. "I didn't think you'd ever leave the District."

"I'm sorry," he just says again, rubbing my back. "I really mean it. I want to stay here, stay with you. Even this is better than a battleground."

I laugh slightly. "That's difficult to imagine."

"Yeah. But it was this or running away with you, Prim and my family, and I didn't think you would fancy that," he mutters.

"I couldn't risk Prim out there," I agree quietly. "It's one thing when you and I are out in the forest, but she's something completely different."

"I thought so." He leans back and kisses my forehead. "You'll still be here for me, won't you?"

"Of course." I nod. "I'm your best friend, I'm not going anywhere."

"Don't forget me then," he pleads, a note of something else in his voice.

"I'd never be able to," I promise, offering him a weak smile. "I'll see you in a few months, unless I can see you before you leave."

"I'll see you whenever you're free then," he agrees, kissing my hand as I walk away, unable to look back at the boy that I won't see again for what could be forever. No. I'm being stupid. Of course he'll come back.

It's only when I round the corner that I let my first and possibly only tear fall. I can't allow myself to be weak but I can't pretend that I'm not hurt by this. I am hurt but I just didn't think I would be. I didn't think that him leaving would have such an effect on me, especially one where I'd be worried like this. It's just so different and I don't like the feeling.

The weird thing is, though, that, when I lost my father and then my mother, I was empty, but I then also felt heavy with the weight of having to do something important. Now, I'll have to do the same thing for him too, but the additional feeling I feel with it isn't like I've lost my family, it's like I will have lost something even more.

When I reach the market once again, I pull a silver coin from my pocket, walking to one of the jewellery stands and finding the rope bracelet with sea charms that I ordered the other week. I nod at the owner of the stall and give her the money.

She smiles as she takes the money. "For someone special, dear?"

"Well, it's for my friend's son," I answer. "I'm not sure if you count that as special."

The old lady nods as I walk away, pulling my jacket tighter around myself as I make the final leg of the journey up to my workplace. I catch sight of the huge mansion and groan, making my way quickly up the gravel drive and walking through the back entrance, being met by a child's laughter.

"Hey, happy birthday!" I call, shutting the door behind myself as I walk into the brightly decorated room.

The little boy sees me and crawls over, pulling himself to standing with the support of my leg. He giggles and grins up at me, waving his arms for me to pick him up.

"Are you having a nice time, Nick?" I ask, tickling his chin as I carry him back to his parents, putting him down on the floor.

He nods his head and proudly shows off his pile of presents, both of his parents smiling happily as he drags himself over to the pile and then begins playing with them.

"Come on, soldier, I've got you something," I say, turning onto my front and grabbing his legs. He topples over and I pull him back to me, tickling his stomach when he's at my side and making him roll around.

"Katniss, you're teasing him," complains Finnick, grinning as he watches me play with his son.

"Shut up. It's his first birthday, he doesn't know what to do," I argue, slipping the blue box out of my pocket and handing it to the boy. "It's yours," I whisper, smiling.

He pulls the lid off and then crawls over to his father, who helps him tie it around his wrist. It's so big that it goes around four times but it therefore makes him laugh. He comes back to me, sitting on my lap, and hugs me for it, my head resting on his.

"I thought you didn't like kids," reasons Annie, watching me too.

I look up and see her smiling softly. "Nick's an exception."

"Wait until you get your own," mutters Finnick. "You should have seen me and kids before Annie persuaded me that we should have them."

"Hey!" I moan, hitting him playfully and prompting Nick to do the same. "That's it, Junior, get daddy," I encourage in his ear, releasing him. "I'm not having kids. You could lose too much with them."

"I reckon you will one day," disagrees Annie. "You'll find some guy that you _really_ love and then he'll make you change your mind very quickly."

"If you say so." I roll my eyes as I get to my feet. "I'll be back in a minute, I'm just getting changed."

I walk swiftly out of the room and into the adjoining dressing room. I quickly take my hunting boots off and put them in the corner, then do same with my jacket and jeans. I turn to face the mirror afterwards, pulling down the skirt as much as possible. For me, it's too short and revealing. It finishes too short on my legs, leaving hardly any covered, and only making them stand out even more with the high heels I must wear. Then the collar is very low cut, with only one strap on my left shoulder.

I sigh, decorating my face with makeup next. First, I put some gold eye shadow on and a thick line of eyeliner, followed my black mascara. Then, I use a bit of blush and turn my cheeks a pink to match my painted lips. The final thing I do is pull my hair into a messy bun, clipping most of the escaping bits in place with little pins, decorated with little golden stars.

Once I'm done, I walk back to where the small family is playing and sit down, earning a raised eyebrow from Finnick, who wolf whistles and says, "Are you sure you're not trying to impress him?"

I throw him a death glare. "You know I'm not. I just have to keep this job."

"I know, Katniss, I'm sorry." He looks genuinely so, leaving me no choice but to forgive him.

Just as I go to begin playing with Nick, a knock at the door interrupts my plans, pulling me automatically to my feet. "Annie, I'll see you later. Nick, happy birthday. Finnick, a word."

He shrugs his shoulders at his wife as he gets to his feet as well, following me out of the room. "What's up? You're not getting me to be part of your act, are you?"

"Please stop with the jokes, Finn," I whisper. "I hate it enough already, I don't need you to do this."

He sighs and kisses my forehead. "I didn't know if joking about it would make you feel better." I shake my head. "Okay, what did you want?"

"Have you told Annie you're going tomorrow?" I ask quickly.

He initially looks shocked that I know the day for army departure is tomorrow, but he soon recovers enough to nod his head. "Yeah, that's why we both got today off instead of doing Nick's birthday thing at the weekend, like we'd originally planned."

"I'm glad." I try to smile at him as I hug him.

"Good luck today, Katniss," he wishes when I pull back.

"Good luck when you're fighting, Finnick," I reply. As he turns away, I think of something to add and call, "And please look after Gale."

He looks at me for a few seconds, as if trying to work out why he needs to look after my best friend. When he works it out, he nods and smiles. "I'll try my best."

"Thank you." My voice comes out weak but I can't help it anymore. I could be losing my two best friends.

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**Author's Note: So, the first actual chapter is up and, can I say for the prologue: WOW! Eight reviews on one chapter? I love you guys. Now, that could sound like nothing to some people who get a million reviews for a story- that may be a ****_slight _****exaggeration- but I usually get a couple on a chapter at the most. So thank you sosososososososo much! It's great to know that people like it so much, even though it was only the prologue.**

_**RadMalfoyCookie: **_**You liked? I had no idea ;) I hope you do enjoy the rest of the story as much as you seemed to like the prologue, and I promise you a couple of uninteresting parts that weren't mentioned in the prologue...so you don't know it ****_all_****.**

_**Awesomegirl2656:**_** I'm glad you liked it! As well, okay, yes, I haven't written what Katniss' original job is yet- again- so you are allowed to assume things if you so wish (it's not a very respectable one, I can tell you that!). But, don't worry, if you can wait that long, it'll be in the next chapter.**

_**Occy3:**_** I'm pleased you think so!**

_**Y.O.L.O So do it right: **_**That's good you like it but- this is to everyone who's reading this- until I've finished one of my other stories, I will only be updating this when I have the next chapter written; no definite updates!**

_**always3: **_**Same as to above... I'm sorry in advance for the possible slow updates!**

_**forever everdeen: **_**It's great to know that you like it- I'm running out of ways to say it!- but what was confusing? PM me or leave it in another review if you want anything clearing up.**

_**Guest:**_** If you want something like that to have happened, you'll have to read on to find out. I'm sorry, though, that it was hard to read with the thought that Peeta is dead. This story will be mainly based around when he's alive, though.**

_**VikkiTayler:**_** As ever, I appreciate your reviews so much because I know I'll definitely have one from you at least! So thank you for checking this story out too, and I'm glad you like it and think I should continue!**

**So yeah, thank you everyone for reading, reviewing and all those other funky things you do by clicking buttons- I'm in an incredibly good mood today, if you can't tell! I'm sorry this chapter isn't as exciting as you may have hoped but I needed this one up, then the next one will explain Katniss' job, and the one after that should be more exciting, we hope; it'll be when the army goes and Katniss may see Peeta for a bit...**

**Have a good evening and maybe review again or for the first time if you haven't done yet?! Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 2: Bad Times

**Secrets in Love**

**_"I don't need to keep the baby, Peeta. It's a mistake and you don't deserve to be haunted by it. I could abort it or you could have nothing to do with it." "Hear that, baby? Mummy wants to get rid of you. She thinks I won't love you. I already do." After Katniss lost her two best friends to war, she was distraught until a certain baker with a secret crown helped her to recover. AU_**

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**Chapter Two- Bad Times**

(Katniss. Present day, _flashback_)

There are hardly any stairs to climb up here but, when I know what's waiting for me at the top, it feels like a lifetime to make the climb. Once, I had the choice of whether or not to begin this but, when it's your baby sister's life at risk, you'll do anything just to see a piece of food going into her thin body, making a smile appear on her pale face.

_It was a month or so after I turned sixteen that money and food became particularly hard to find. When I was eleven, my dad had died in a mining accident. Not long before I turned twelve, the result of not eating or caring for herself, an illness and maybe insanity finally took my mum in the night; I went out one day and, when I returned, she'd just gone. _

_Before this, I had already tried hunting, mainly unsuccessfully. I just about caught enough to trade- although it wasn't really worth anything- and if I couldn't even trade it, I'd have to make it into food for me, Prim and my mum. That winter had been a hard one, though; it didn't seem to stop! And that meant that no animals wanted to venture out for food, least of all to become someone else's._

_One night, some months after the accident in the mines, I went out to trade Prim's old "clothes". It was the end of the day and it was beginning to transform into a cold, wet night, and I hadn't managed to trade _anything. _I didn't see the point of carrying on so I fell to the ground behind the Bakery; I'd already checked their bins for the scraps that I couldn't find. I knew I couldn't give up for Prim and my mum, but I didn't think I could physically go any further._

_That was until two burnt loaves fell to the ground near where I sat. I looked up and saw a boy- I guessed he was the baker's son- walking away. He didn't look at me until he reached the door to go back inside. He looked out into the rain at me, his blue eyes meeting my grey, then nodded at the bread, signalling for me to take it, which was when I saw the huge bruise already appearing on his cheek. _

_I never saw him again to say thank you, but those two loaves were enough to keep me and my sister alive. Unfortunately, though, when I got home with those loaves, Prim was already asleep but my mum wasn't there and she never came back. However, the spring began to arrive after that, and I finally remembered what my father had taught me about hunting. I also met Gale, who taught me about snares in return for me teaching him to hunt. _

_My relearnt ability to hunt gave me confidence, though, and I looked for an actual job too. Every now and then, I would get one and keep it for a few months, either until the owners of the business couldn't find the money to pay me anymore, or until they realised how awful I was at everything I tried. The one place I didn't try was the Bakery, though._

_I reached the age of sixteen and found that jobs were getting worse and worse; I could hardly keep them for a week. Then it got to the point when I couldn't actually find one and winter had come back- although it was, by then, meant to be summer- once again. I knew there was probably only one more chance for money left and, although I hated the prospect of it more than anything else, I also knew that it was going to be my only option if I wanted my ever-growing-ill sister to stay alive._

"You took your time today. I was going to get you to do some other work as well," a smooth voice fills the grand room as I enter it.

I bite my lip and take a deep breath. "I thought the suspense would do you well," I answer. "Maybe give you something to look forward to."

He laughs coldly from his laidback position against the wall, my eyes finally straying to him as he says, "I definitely hope so." He wears casual black jeans, his hands in his pockets, and a grey shirt, unbuttoned all the way down. His blonde hair appears not to have been the top of his concerns this morning, though, as it still messily lies on his head, some falling into his green eyes. "I leave tomorrow for however long; I hope you've got something worth what I'll be missing."

I cringe as he speaks, but refuse to answer, sending a glare in his direction instead. I'm sure he knows that both of my best friends are going to be in the brigade that he'll be in charge of, and that's why he's going to torment me for it now.

"What is it?" he sneers. "Something I'm missing?"

"Have fun with your new soldiers," I mutter. "I'm sure not all of them will follow your every command."

"They will if they know what's right for them." I go to say something but he stops me before I have the chance. "And you'd better do as well, today. _You _know what happens otherwise."

_It was raining on the first night when I had braved what would get me money; my new "job". I left Prim at the Hawthorne's and then went home to quickly get changed into what I had: the only nice clothes I had were a knee length blue, strapless and nearly backless dress, and slightly heeled shoes, both of which had been passed down to me from my mother from when she was my age._

_I tried to make my way to where I'd find my work, but I got lost numerous times. When I finally thought I was near, I tripped in the cobbled street and I would have landed face first in a puddle had it not been for the two strong arms that caught me just before I fell. I looked up and met a man's green eyes as he lifted me back to my feet, before carefully leading me back to his home, which was when I realised he was one of the princes._

_For some time, I sat in his room by the fire, warming up. I realised that he probably knew of my intentions by where I was headed and so he wanted me to work for him, but I really wanted to avoid it for as long as I possibly could. After a while, though, he walked over to me and pulled me to my feet again, then leading me to his bed and kissing me. I didn't know what to do because I had done nothing of the sort before, so I had to leave him to be in charge of everything._

It's hardly any different now; I still just do as he says. If I don't, he threatens to kill or hurt someone that I love, knowing that it will make me do what he wants me to do. I'm like his little puppet. And he's instructed me to keep this a secret because it's obvious that his parents wouldn't approve of his "night time pleasures", especially if they knew that both of their sons used the same girl.

So, instead, I have to live my life in silence of what I have to go through, because _no one _can really know what I have to do to get money. I mainly work for the two princes, William and Arthur, but I also sometimes go to the bar in the backstreets of the District when money is particularly hard. I still hunt, of course, but the money I get from that is nothing compared to what I can get from working like this.

_I felt defeated, both physically and emotionally after he used me. Despite how kind he had seemed at first- a real gentleman, handsome, just as they described princes in the Dark Days' fairy tales- he was completely different when he was leading from his desires. He was so heavy against me and he made me hurt without caring for anything other than himself._

_He sent me away as soon as he was done with me. I pulled together what dignity I had remaining and left, out the back way to return into the cold; he no longer cared for me, not even enough to send me away with a coat or to offer me a warm bed for the night, one in which someone wouldn't treat me like filth. I felt dirtied but I could feel some money in my pocket, just enough to satisfy the cheque for Prim's much needed medicine._

_I was halfway along the drive away from the Palace when I felt someone's hand brush against my shoulder and I turned, instinctively hitting away their touch. Although I didn't know it then, it was Finnick. All I could see was that he was another strong, well built, attractive man, who had come after a poor, vulnerable girl in the night, probably to use her again._

"_Sssh, it's okay," he whispered, his voice softer than the one I had just had to listen to. He didn't seem fazed by the red mark my hand had made on his cheek. "I promise that I'm not going to do anything to you."_

"_I've heard that before," I muttered, turning away. "I'm not falling for it twice in one night."_

"_I can tell." He didn't bother running after me because I stopped to listen to what he was saying. "Which of the princes paid for you to be their entertainment?"_

_I sighed. "Prince Arthur."_

"_Why did you do it?" he asked and I knew I didn't need to answer but, for some reason, I wanted to._

"_Both of my parents are dead and my sister is incredibly ill," I explained. "I've been trying to find actual work for months, if not years, but I can never hold a job. I didn't want to do it but I had to, and he seemed so kind before."_

"_I know how it feels," he agreed._

"_I highly doubt it." There was a hint of coldness in my voice when I replied._

"_I do." The truthfulness in his voice made me turn to look at him. "I was made to do the same thing when I was your age. I was threatened with people I loved if I didn't do as asked. I often worked with numerous people in one night, just so I fulfilled my "errands". I was sent them by the President, though, and I worked throughout the whole of Panem."_

"_Really?" Suddenly, my situation didn't sound as bad._

_He nodded. "Now, will you trust me?" He offered out a steady hand and I took it gratefully, as he led me inside to his warm little house._

_Once again, I took a seat by the fire so my clothes could dry. I kept a close watch on the man the whole time, though, to ensure that he didn't try anything. He didn't and I was grateful. It allowed me to relax and talk to him, when I found out that he was the famous Finnick Odair, who was indeed well known for being forced into prostitution by the President, from which he would supposedly hold the love of many different Capitol citizens._

_After a while, his wife came out of another room, holding a baby who was drinking from a bottle. She was introduced as Annie, and the baby was introduced as Finnick Junior or Nick- as they couldn't have both Finnick Odairs called Finn. That started my friendship with my family and that was why they were the only ones to know about what I have to go through to save Prim._

"Are you going to miss me whilst I'm away?" he asks, the malice in his voice obvious as his body lies on top of mine, crushing the breath out of me.

I don't answer because I know that, either way, he'll hurt me for what I say. I have no safe way to escape him and the pain he leaves behind, just like the pain that follows every time that anyone does this to me.

He begins playing with my side, his fingers tracing every curve of my body as his lips lie close to my neck, his hot, sharp breath burning my skin. "I know you're certainly going to miss your _friends _when they don't come home."

"They are going to come home," I force myself to say, my voice sounding raspy, due to the lack of air I'm getting to my lungs.

He laughs coldly. "You can't assure that, can you?"

"You can't assure they won't," I snap, although the likelihood is that he can.

"You wish," he whispers into my ear. "Now, my darling," the hatred in his voice is not at all hidden, "I'd like you to return to me in a while but first, my brother would like to enjoy the pleasure of your company as well."

I sigh, climbing away from the man and throwing a robe around my body- because there's not really any point in redressing- before walking out of one room and to the next, only to do the same thing. I wonder if these two will ever marry or if they'll always be dependent on me for entertainment. It's not like I'd ever be cheating on my future husband if that was the case, though, because I will never get married; there's too much to risk and too much to lose in today's world.

William is as heavy handed as his younger brother, if not more so. The pain they put me through should be unbearable, but I have no choice but to go with it when Prim's involved. However, his use for me is soon finished, and it's not long later when I have returned to Arthur's room, just the robe still around my body as I make my way to my clothes, discarded on the floor.

"You won't be needing those," he says steadily as he watches me.

"I'm not going around without any clothes on for the rest of the day, I think you'll find," I snap.

"I think you'll find that I choose what you wear," he corrects, a smirk on his face. "I choose what you do for the rest of the day today, so I choose what you wear."

I cross my arms over my chest, glaring at him. "You don't pay for anything over than what you've already done-"

"I hear your sister's rather ill at the moment," he interrupts quickly. "Wouldn't it be unfortunate if she _accidentally_ got the wrong medicine?" He watches with glee as the determined look on my face turns to a look of horror and fear. "I thought so."

"What do you want me to do then?" I ask weakly, my hands suddenly shaking.

"Oh, nothing particularly important." He turns away as he grabs a white shirt from his wardrobe, buttoning it up as he tells me, "You can just be my maid for the day."

I look at him. Of all the things he could have chosen, he chose that? That doesn't sound too bad, but I'm sure there must be something hidden in his idea that he's not going to tell me.

"I mean, it's the last day here before I leave, so I'd like to have something to keep me from becoming bored throughout all these talks my parents will give," he continues, throwing a black jacket to match his trousers over the top.

I nod, because I don't know what else I can do anyway. I have no choice but to do as he asks and, for now, I can only see minor flaws in his plan.

"I'll help you get dressed then," he decides, walking to me with that smirk still present across his face.

By "helping me", he means getting my clothes on with no help from me, leaving him free to touch me once again, his lips running across my body as much as his hands do. When he has finally _actually_ got me dressed, he has fortunately put on my underwear beneath the dress he's forced me into. This dress is unusually beautiful- strapless, satin grey, the under skirt made with a black lace that matches the mid-section- however, as ever, it's too short, but lessened by the fact that "as I'm a maid" I have to wear flats. I then pull my hair off my face on my own, twisting it and then pinning it into a neat bun, giving him the chance to work his way up from my uncovered back and along my shoulders, then to my neck.

When he goes downstairs, I follow him, tying an apron in place around my waist. He's given me the instructions to follow him all day, unless specifically told by him to do something else elsewhere. To be fair, I'd rather do anything but work for him like this. I feel more exposed like this now than I did fifteen minutes ago, when he was just about dressing me.

He makes his way straight to the hall, where they will be having a large lunch, as a farewell to the two princes leaving to "fight" in the army. I don't even know why they bother with the big feasts every time, though, because I swear they go every other month, and I doubt that they actually fight when they're out there; it's more like they send everyone else onto the battlefield and watch from afar.

He takes a seat and I stand behind him, quickly looking around the hall to see who else is there. He sits beside his mother, a woman in her mid-fifties, with dark brown hair that has yet to begin to grey, and green eyes; I think she moved here from Two to marry the King. The King is then next to her, his greying head resting on his hand; he's been ill for as long as I can remember. On his other side is William, his blonde hair and dark blue eyes the common traits of those from the Merchant side of the District.

As well, there are the head soldiers from the District here. Actually, anyone of importance is at these dinners. I notice the Mayor here, which doesn't really surprise me; he's technically second in command after the King but, as the King's always so ill, he's usually the one making all of the decisions. Because he's here, I soon notice his daughter, Madge here too. Today, she has her blonde hair tied to the side with a pink ribbon, leaving it to fall onto the shoulder of the white dress she wears.

However, it's who she's talking with that really catches my attention. I'm not surprised that they're together- because they've been together for nearly two years now, she is always telling everyone at school- but I'm surprised that he could get in; I would have thought this was invitation only, and I didn't think that the baker's son would actually be able to get one.

Peeta sits on her right side, one of his hands wrapped around hers, the other resting on the table because she has her other hand on his leg. They're sitting so that they're facing each other, smiling at what the other says, their faces so close that they're nearly touching; it wouldn't be much, though, if they were actually touching, from what I've heard from Madge's loud voice.

He looks so desperately entranced by her as he sits there, the smile on his face lighting up his sky blue eyes and making his pink cheeks glow. He looks so young when that's the case for him; it's as if he's a baby who's just been introduced to a new toy. He looks good today, despite his age confusion, in his smart suit, the grey jacket with the black notched lapel hugging his figure.

His smile grows at something she says, which makes him lift his hand to brush a stray curl from out of her dark blue eyes, before slipping his hand behind her head and kissing her gently. I turn away.

"Are you sure this girl is a suitable maid?" asks the mother of the princes, her voice from in front of me suddenly cutting through my mind to reach me.

"I'll see by the end of today," Arthur answers, throwing a quick glance in my direction to enjoy the panic on my face. "Today's just a trial run to see how she works."

"I mean, the first point is her obvious lack of acceptable attire for working. Her dress can hardly be called that," she begins to argue.

"I know, I did tell her that it was inappropriate when she arrived, but she was adamant that it was fine," he agrees, hiding his smirk behind his hand.

"As well as that, she cannot seem to concentrate on anything she should be concentrating on, and she does not seem to listen to anything. She is staring all the time at something," she continues.

"She does seem quite the dreamer," he mutters.

"And to top it all off, she is a Seam rat, for Panem's sake! Did you just pick her off up the streets?" she accuses.

"He suggested her as cheap labour," he covers up, nodding in the direction away from me. "Probably one of his little pleasures. He'd know what she was like then."

I follow the direction in which he nodded, trying to work out who's there that he could be throwing the blame to; to me it's obvious that it's Arthur who gave me the job, but I want to know who he's pretending it was. However, the only ones there are a couple of older soldiers that I'd imagine to have wives by now, and then Peeta, who is someone who should be completely innocent of this whole thing.

"Sorry, but I think I misheard you. What are you suggesting that I proposed as an idea?" he questions, sounding confident as he speaks to those much more powerful than him.

"Nothing much, only that you prefer cheap labour to do your work for you," replies Arthur, casually leaning back in his chair. "You like to rely on _girls_ that aren't your own, specifically _Seam rats_, or girls who are particularly- how should I say it- _impure_."

I can see that it takes all of Peeta's self-control to stay in his seat, his hands clenching onto fists on the table. He frowns deeply and throws a glare in the younger prince's direction, before softening his gaze when he sends a pitiful look at me. I look away when he tries to meet my eyes, my cheeks burning red as I wring my hands to try and calm myself down.

Arthur scoffs. "See what I mean? She can't even meet his eyes because she knows what they've done together is immoral and _shameful_-"

He is cut off as Peeta stands up quickly, his chair clattering loudly to the floor as he stomps away, obviously having taken enough of the torment.

"It would probably be best if you dismissed the girl now too, before she causes you any trouble," decides Arthur's mother.

"I suppose so." He nods, turning his head to look at me. "Be gone."

He says it with such an evil smile on his face that I rip the apron from around my waist and throw it at him, before walking away and shouting, "I'm glad. I guess that means I won't have to put up with you anym-" I gasp as he slams me against the wall, the pressure he puts onto my shoulders making me bite my lip to stop me crying out in pain.

"_This_ is why I've dismissed you. Too much lip and not enough respect. Maybe think more before you speak next time and you might be able to keep a job for a little longer," he suggests, quickly letting go of me.

I slide to the floor at the sudden lack of hold but then manage to make it back to my feet soon enough that I don't have to face anymore sneering comments. I make my way out of the hall and out the back door of the building, grabbing the hunting clothes I carefully hid just under one of Finnick and Annie's windows earlier, so I didn't have to disturb them when I left. They probably heard all that anyway.

I just about manage to change into my comfortable hunting clothes- dumping the dress on the steps- without anyone noticing. I then begin walking back home, plaiting my hair as I walk, before pulling my hood up over my head and stuffing my hands in my pockets to protect myself from the cold that's started to come in to replace the warm weather.

When I get into Town, I notice Peeta just in front of me, his blonde curls blowing around in the wind as he pulls his suit jacket further around himself to stay warm, the lapel turned up to cover his neck as well. I don't call his name, though, because I don't want to talk about what we just went through, really, and I doubt he will want to either; it was just a load of lies against both of us.

However, some sound I make must travel down to him because he turns around to look at me, stopping until I reach him. "Did you leave too?" he asks gently.

"No, I got thrown out," I reply, not meeting the gaze that I know is directed at me.

"It's not fair on you," he says, his arm momentarily brushing against mine as we walk. "You're a nice girl, Katniss. You wouldn't do the kind of things that they were accusing you of."

I sigh, wishing to tell no one- least of all him- that I do actually. "Yeah, Peeta, neither would you." I turn down a back alley before he has the chance to speak again. He's so sweet about something so horrible, something that hurt him too, and he's the one person I would find comfort in from this, just because they're putting him through this as well. But that's the reason why I can't talk to him; if I grow close to him, it'll put him in an even worse position and it definitely will look like there's something going on between us.

What did either of us do to deserve this?

* * *

**Author's Note: So, as well as being a quickly uploaded chapter, this is also a longer-ish chapter, ****_and _****it's a little bit more exciting (I hope!). I hope it gives a satisfactory covering of Katniss' past, in addition to how she got into her "job".**

**As for the characters in this story that were introduced in this chapter... Arthur is the middle child in the Mellark family, whilst William is the oldest and Peeta is the youngest; however, as Katniss has never gotten to know Peeta and mainly only sees him at the Bakery, she guesses he's the baker's son. Peeta managed to withstand some amount of teasing because his two brothers usually put any blame of a prostitute being used onto him, which is why their mother hits him and not the other two; the reason why he did snap, though, is because he likes Katniss and so Arthur was going to use it against him.**

**I know in the books that Madge is considered Katniss' best girl friend, but she's not in this story. Her and Peeta have been dating for nearly two years- more about their relationship in the next chapter- and she's one of the most popular girls in Katniss' year at school, aided by the fact that she is dating a prince. She is not too fond of Katniss because of what Peeta's brothers say about him and her, and she always feels that Peeta watches Katniss more than her if he gets the chance; I guess she's kind of jealous.**

**I think those are all the new characters; ask me in a review if there's anyone else you want explaining.**

_**RadMalfoyCookie: **_**I was underestimating your knowledge? I never knew ;) I'm sorry your favourite Sex God's not in this chapter exactly, but he will be in the next!**

_**Awesomegirl2656:**_** I'm glad you like it!**

_**VikkiTayler:**_** And the prize goes to you for guessing her job (although there was never officially something to be won...) Tut tut tut Katniss :P**

**So, as ever, I'll ask for reviews if you love me (or my story probably...), or even click the favourite or follow button. ****_I'd _****love you if you did! And I'm going to leave you with a question for you to answer in your reviews: do you think Madge is going to treat Peeta funnily after what Arthur was saying about him and Katniss?**

**Finally, as a little cheeky ask, does anyone fancy doing some fan art for any of my stories on here? All credit would go to you if you did; I just think it adds something more to the stories, but I'm, unfortunately, awful at art.**

**Next chapter: The army leaves and it leaves some families broken.**


	4. Chapter 3: Leaving

**Chapter Three- Leaving**

(Katniss)

I'm woken up by a scream and I sit up, shuffling over in the bed I share with my sister to wrap my arms around her tightly. "Ssshh," I whisper into her ear. "It was just a bad dream; it's not really going to happen." I run my thumb up and down her arm, and rock her back and forth as she whimpers, nestling closer to my chest.

"I saw Finnick and Gale in the army, fighting for their lives, and I saw them both die," she quietly cries. "I don't want them to die."

"I don't want them to die either," I agree, "but they won't. Finnick promised me that he'd look after Gale, and Gale wouldn't give up so easily. He's already had to go through so much to survive that the army will hardly faze him."

"I hope that's true," she says, still crying slightly.

"Me too." To be honest, I say all these things to make her feel better, but I'm not entirely sure if I believe them myself. Of course I want them both to return, but I can't ensure they will.

"Katniss?" Her voice cuts through the silence a few minutes after she's stopped crying and has begun playing with a piece of my messy hair.

"Hmmm?" I'm still rocking her, though, my arms wrapped around her and my chin on the top of her head.

"Will you sing to me?" she asks gently.

I stop moving. I haven't sung since my dad died. That was something that we always used to do together and I can't begin to imagine doing it without him. It used to be his favourite thing, so I can't take that away from him.

"Please?" she begs, her soft voice so desperate.

I sigh, sitting back. "Promise me you'll try to go back to sleep if I do?"

She nods, climbing out of my arms and back under the thin blanket. She looks so happy at the prospect of hearing me sing after years of this house being silent of those types of things, and I can just about allow the faint trace of a smile to pass by my lips. I lean down and kiss her forehead, before moving to the edge of the bed, thinking for a while, until all the words come out without me even pausing.

_Deep in the meadow, under the willow_

_A bed of grass, a soft green pillow_

_Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes_

_And when you awake, the sun will rise._

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you._

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away_

_A cloak of leaves, A moonbeam ray, _

_Forget your woes and let your troubles lay_

_And when again it's morning, they'll wash away._

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you._

She's smiling when I've finished, curled up into a ball, where her side has begun to slowly rise and fall with her sleep. I smile again, before getting to my feet and walking over to the other side of the room. I heat some water and then take it into the small bathroom. As well as the physical dirt from hunting yesterday, I have mental dirt from what those princes do to me too.

Once I'm finished, dressed as well, I look into the cracked mirror, smoothing down my dress. This is a nice, _normal_ dress, not something I have to wear to please other people. It's one of my mum's old dresses, made of a simple soft blue material, buttons sown down the front and a small ribbon to tie it around my waist, with matching shoes. I've already braided my dark hair off of my face in one of my mum's favourite styles, which was one of the last things she taught me before she kind of lost herself.

I walk back out of the room and into the kitchen, where I head straight to the cupboards. I still have over a loaf of the bread left that Peeta gave me, so I can use some of that for Prim's breakfast; she deserves something decent today but, to be honest, she always does. She just deserves so much better than I can give her, despite how hard I'm trying to do well for her.

Even though I argued with Peeta's charity yesterday, I kind of appreciate it all. If he were to only give me what I deserved, I'd hardly ever get anything. The fact that he gave me two normal sized loaves instead of one means that we'll probably have some bread for a few weeks or so, if we're lucky. I find myself smiling as a put some of Prim's goat cheese on the bread and put some berries on the side.

I walk over to Prim a couple of hours after she fell asleep again, having already laid her clothes out on the end of the bed and kiss her forehead gently. "Time to actually get up now, Prim," I whisper, brushing a curl to behind her ear.

"But it's so early, Katniss," she argues, tucking her knees up to her chest.

"They're leaving early today, remember?" I say, and I don't even need to specify for her to know what I'm talking about. Neither of us want to talk about it, we know it's just going to happen.

"Okay." She climbs out from underneath the blankets and I help her pull on her slightly crumpled white shirt and a knee length grey skirt. Then she sits on the bed in front of me as I plait her long blonde hair down either side of her face, so that the two braids settle onto her shoulders.

I smile as I wrap my arms around her. "Better tuck in that tail, little duck."

She laughs as she does as I suggested, shutting her eyes as she leans back against me. "You look beautiful today, Katniss," she mutters.

"Oh no, not as beautiful as you. I'd much rather look like you," I disagree. And it's true. If I was a beautiful twelve years old, no one would even consider using me and I'd be safe, which is why she's lucky.

Unaware of my thoughts, she smiles, taking my offered hand as I lead her over to the table. As always, she takes her cushioned seat and crosses her legs up in front of her, whilst I take the hard seat that's closest to her. Then I slide a plate over to her, another smile lighting up her face as she sees the breakfast that has been prepared for her. "Thank you," she says gently, before tucking in.

I watch her for a few moments before starting on my own. Even after a day, the bread still holds an amazingly sweet taste that fills my whole mouth, the soft goat's cheese only adding to the flavour, which is followed by the sharp taste of the berries, which explode in the mouth. It's nothing like the varieties of meat and the piles of food that they have in the Palace but, for us, it's a treat.

When we're finished, after finding it within myself to give my sister another couple of slices of bread, I take her hand in mine and we walk down the stairs and out of the house. It takes only a few minutes to reach Gale's house, and I never remember seeing such a sombre looking house before- even the Seam was not like this when there was the mine's accident, which involved almost every family; it's like he's already dead.

A soft knock on the door reveals all the Hawthorne family in a matter of moments: Hazelle, Posy, Vick, Rory, and, of course, Gale. Young little Posy is carried on the hip of her mother, curled up closely to her side; Hazelle looks like she's been crying since last night and Posy also looks sad, although as if she doesn't know exactly what will happen. Vick also clings closely to his mother, but he tightly holds her hand instead and looks as if he cried when his brother told him where he was going. Rory looks like he's trying to be strong for his oldest brother and the rest of the family, but it must be near impossible; he's also there for Prim when she walks away from me and to him, crying herself.

They begin walking to the Square in Town, which leaves me alone with my best friend for a few minutes. I can't look at him, though, so I find myself scuffing the toe of my shoe along the cobbled, dust lined streets. After a few minutes, Gale catches my chin, so I am looking up at him, and asks quietly, "How are you?" whilst trying to fake a smile.

I lift his hand from my chin but keep looking at him, my grey eyes reflected in his own. "There's no point in worrying about how _I _feel today; it's you who's the important one. How do _you_ feel?"

He shrugs and I find myself frowning at his casual movement; he's acting just as if today's a normal day and that nothing bad is going to happen. "It's my choice," he begins. "Katniss, I know what the consequences could be, but I need to do this. It's going to provide good money for my family- I could ask mum to give you any leftover money- and I can't just work in the mines until I'm blown up."

A sob catches in my throat and I shut my eyes as he speaks, his words making me imagine the horrible fate that could befall everyone who risks their life every day. "What if your family needs you here, Gale? What if- What if I need you here?"

He doesn't answer, instead hugging me with the arms that have been accustomed to lugging around wild game for years; yet, they don't feel wrong when they're wrapped around me for comfort. I never thought I could admit it before- because I never thought it was something I could feel- but here I am, telling my best friend that I can't live without him. No, I'm not looking for love from him, just someone to be there when I need them.

"I don't think I can see life without you," I admit. "I mean, what am I going to do when I go hunting and I shoot a buck? Who's going to carry it home for me now?"

My cover story manages to persuade a chuckle from his lips. "You're probably strong enough to. But you're strong in more ways than one."

Now, it's my turn not to answer as I lay my forehead against his chest, his fingers beginning to fumble with the ribbon around my waist. "Please don't," I eventually say.

"Please don't what?" he questions.

"Play with the ribbon," I answer. "It took me an awfully long time to get perfect this morning; I don't fancy having to repeat the process."

He laughs again but leans back, letting go of the ribbon. "You look beautiful, Catnip, don't worry. I don't see why you're all dressed up, though."

"It's a special occasion, Gale," I reply. "I can't just come out in any old clothes; I have to make an effort, you see. Girls try."

"I never saw you as the type of girl who took an interest in what clothes she wore," he disagrees as we finally begin to follow our families down to the Square.

"Times change people," I reason. "Maybe I saw a new dress and liked it, so decided it wouldn't go amiss if I treated myself every now and then with a new outfit."

"Now, that I know is definitely a lie," he decides. "Who ever heard of Katniss Everdeen spending her money on anything other than her sister?"

"Whoever, other than you, found interest in what Katniss Everdeen does anyway?" I argue.

He shrugs again. "People could surprise you, as you seem to be trying to do to me." We reach the Square and stop by our families. He sighs and looks sadly at me. "Catnip, I'll see you soon. Try not to miss me too much; I'll be fine. I'll keep an eye on that sailor boy too."

"He's older than you, Gale," I complain, knowing that he's talking about Finnick. "But don't let them boss you around. Well, as much as possible."

He smiles. "I'll try not." He gives me one final hug, before walking away to say goodbye to my sister and then to his family.

I turn away from him when he turns away from me, to hide the tears that have suddenly appeared in my eyes; he knows that I'm sad to see him go but he doesn't need to see me in such a weak and emotional state because his family are already like that. However, I stay there with them, wiping away my tears when I spot Finnick, Annie and Nick making their way over to us.

I put another smile on my face as they arrive, giving Finnick a friendly punch on the arm. "You look mighty fine in that costume," I say, making him smile too. I'm not saying it to make him smile, though, because he actually does. His dark blue jacket and trousers hug his athletic build, and his bronze tousled hair falls out gently from beneath his hat. I must admit, my best friend looks good in it as well.

"Yes, I did think I modelled the army attire rather well," he agrees, striking a pose, which makes me and his wife laugh.

"Teach my friend how to wear it as well then, and I might agree," I challenge.

"Give him a chance, Katniss, he's trying his best for a wannabe," he teases.

"I heard that, Odair," shouts Gale, which makes my smile grow true.

"He said he'd keep an eye on you; will you do the same for him?" I ask.

"I've already told you that I will," he reminds me. "And anyway, he won't need to worry about looking after me. I'm sure he'll be no trouble after this little monster here." He ruffles his son's hair and then kisses Annie's lips, turning his attention to her. "I won't be gone long, my love. Don't spend your days thinking about me, because it won't be long until I've returned to you. Instead, enjoy your days with Nick and plan something fun for when I return."

I don't say anything to interrupt the couple's exchange because when they talk, you can see how deeply in love they are. For anyone who wishes to fall in love, Annie and Finnick are definitely the couple to envy.

Then Finnick turns to me and hugs me, whispering into my ear, so that only I can hear him, "_Please_ look after Annie and Nick until I'm back. I may be gone for a long time- I don't know, though, so don't tell them- because I need to make up for the job that I quit when I fell in love. You'll all be fine without me, though, so don't worry. You're all strong, especially you, so don't let anyone walk over you. I'll make those princes pay for what they've done to you and I'll look after your Gale."

I don't even bother telling him that he's not actually "my Gale"; he's just my best friend. I just nod and hug him back. "Good luck, Finn."

"Good luck to you too, although you don't need it," he replies, letting go of me, so that he can walk over to Prim. His talks with my younger sister always make me smile- and this is no exception- because he sweeps his hat off his head, before performing an over exuberant bow. When he stands back up, he kisses her hand, replaces his hat on his head and says, "My dear girl, how I shall miss you in these few months in which I shall be away. Know, though, that I won't go a day without thinking of your bright blue eyes, your beautiful smile, and your enchanting laugh. Don't stop them whilst I'm away; in fact, keep going like I am here. Until then, fare thee well." He steps back and I'm grinning; even if it's only been recently, he's kept her going when she's found times hard.

He goes to say one final goodbye to Annie, but is interrupted as he arrives at her side by the appearance of Peeta and Madge. Once again, they're dressed up for an important occasion, but they're standing closer to each other this time, Peeta's arm wrapped tightly around his girlfriend's waist. She glares at me- as if for yesterday's stories- but her boyfriend doesn't even look at me once.

"Hey Finn, are you okay?" asks Peeta, his fingers tapping a rhythm on Madge's waist.

"I'm as fine as anyone could be in this situation," answers Finnick, his hand finally having found his wife's; I can't help but feel awkward at the edge of this situation.

"Good. I erm- I hope you're okay whilst you're out...there," Peeta mutters, sounding slightly awkward himself, his eyes struggling to make contact with the older man's. It's not as if he's responsible for this, so why's he like this?

"Yeah. I hope you're okay whilst you're here," Finnick agrees. "I hope your situations stay stable and there aren't any sudden changes."

Am I missing something?

"We appreciate the blessing, Finnick; thank you," says Madge, her eyes still burning into the side of my face. "If anything goes wrong, we'll make sure to take your thoughts into consideration." Her tight grip on Peeta's wrist is beginning to make his hand go white.

"I'll see you when you get back," mumbles Peeta, as if he's desperate to get away.

"I sure will, sir." Finnick salutes as the younger couple walk away.

Sir?

I watch them as they walk away and, as they go, they move slowly further apart from each other, as they get further away from people who could be watching. It actually gets to the point when they're on their own and they sit with a couple of seats between them. "What's up with them?" I hear myself asking, although I don't know why anyone here should know.

"Apparently, something happened between them yesterday. Madge doesn't completely trust Peeta anymore, after she heard a rumour that concerned him. The problem is, he walked away instead of facing her about it, so she never actually got his consent that it was merely _just_ a rumour," explains Annie, speaking for the first time since she arrived.

"Right." I step away, so the two- or three, if you include Nick- can have some final alone time, before the father will have to leave. It's not fair that either of my friends have to go away for this but- and I hate myself for saying this- at least Gale made the choice to go; Finnick has to go to make up for loving someone and he therefore can't be with that person when he's gone.

He kisses her lips a final time, taps his son's chin, waves to me, Prim and Gale's family, and then they've both begun walking away to the train, where both of the princes stand, looking bored. I make the effort to look at neither of them, focussing on my two friends as they walk away instead, Finnick already beginning to protect Gale, possibly even without thinking.

"Feee- nick!" The shout comes out of nowhere and everyone- including who the call was aimed at- turns to look at the baby in Annie's arms. The baby repeats his first word and his mother bursts into tears, which causes his father's eyes to become watery too, especially as he can't come over and congratulate his son on his name being his first word.

I have to do the congratulating for him when I take Nick into my arms and begin rocking him, because Annie's still crying uncontrollably when the train that carries the boy's father and my best friend has gone, on the way to pick up the other soldiers from the other Districts. The boy just lays his head on my shoulder as the silver beast disappears and continues to whisper his father's name into my ear.

I have to breathe deeply to stop my own tears from falling as I carry Nick back to his parents' little house, both his mother and my sister trailing behind, with tears on their cheeks. Prim eventually catches up with me as we walk and tightly holds my hand, whilst Annie tries to take her son back, only for me to reason that she's in no fit state to carry him and I'm fine anyway.

It's not long before I feel like a mother, as I've sent Annie to bed to recover herself, and Prim sits at my side, snuggled up closely with one of my arms around her, whilst Nick sits on my lap, curled up against my chest as he plays with the fingers on my other hand. I soon begin telling the boy stories that I know about his father, just not quite ones that will finally push me over the edge, so I don't cry.

"Annie's gone to bed for a couple of hours because she's so stressed out. I'm looking after Nick and the house for her. Is there anything I can do to help you with?" I direct this question at Peeta and Madge when they enter the room about half an hour after we did, interrupting one of Nick's stories when he had luckily fallen asleep.

"Hello- it's Primrose, isn't it?" The reply from Peeta is aimed at my younger sister, who is nearly asleep at my side. She nods and mumbles an incoherent answer, rolling closer to my side. "Do you happen to know where Annie is? We came to check if she was alright after what Nick was saying."

I frown at the couple, who are the same age as me. Why are they ignoring me so..._unsubtly_? Madge, I understand, because we've never really spoken before, but at least Peeta used to talk to me, although I suppose he is kind to everyone. I guess I should be nothing special to him; I don't have a solid position as the Mayor's daughter, and I don't even have a striking appearance to match hers.

Prim shuffles up from her position, glancing at me before saying, "She's gone to sleep for a couple of hours. Katniss is looking after everything and Nick for her. I think she's just a little stressed out after everything that's happened recently, and today didn't help."

She's only repeating what I said, yet he seems to hear her. "Does she need any help? Madge and I would be willing to help her with anything if she needs it."

"We certainly wouldn't want to be wishing any _trouble_ that bothers her in our place," adds Madge, smiling sweetly at my sister, although I can easily see through it to the hard glare that's aimed at me.

"I'm sure she's fine," I snap. "We'll make sure to let her know that you have offered your services up for her, if she wishes to be aided by you."

Neither of them answer, but Madge pulls her boyfriend's arm around her, as if to remind me of their relationship and how strong it _was_, at least before the prince began his rumours against the two of us. Madge's glares make sense, but I don't quite understand why he's suddenly become hostile. Fair enough, I didn't do anything to stop them- there wasn't anything I could do- but I didn't fuel them either. He seemed fine yesterday.

However, he manages to raise his brilliant blue eyes to my boring grey ones, and I see something there as he stares at me: an unnecessary pity for my situation and how he is having to treat me maybe, or perhaps even a sadness for the position he can't really leave, but also still a little longing for the girl he has his arm around. "We hope she recovers, so be sure to inform her of our visit."

Prim nods again. "We will. I'm sure she'll appreciate your kind thoughts."

The couple smile slightly before turning away, Peeta tearing his eyes away from my before he's managed to convey his secret message, if that was his intention anyway. He leaves the room before his girlfriend as well, as if for the exact reason that she believes we will do something behind her back, like planning to meet for the reason that the prince accused us of yesterday. No such thing happens.

Their exit is met by a scowl from me, just as Prim says, "Katniss, why were th-"

"Just wait a second, Prim," I interrupt, pressing my ear to the wall.

"Oh, we couldn't have done that in a less obvious way, could we?" shouts Peeta, the venom and volume in his voice making him suddenly sound a lot less gentle.

"It's not my fault that I didn't fancy you flirting with her or her crawling over you- perhaps only with words- in front of me!" his girlfriend replies, equally loudly.

"I haven't slept with her!" he argues. "You know that Arthur was only saying that yesterday to get on your nerves- he knew that you'd be jealous and start acting-"

"Why would I be jealous of some Seam brat, who's only desperate to enjoy herself and get some money out of it whilst she's at it?" Their voices are beginning to grow quieter as they walk away.

"I haven't slept with her!" the boy repeats his earlier sentence.

"Neither of you did anything to disprove it yesterday; in fact, you both looked rather embarrassed that someone _knew_," she complains.

I lean my head away and sigh, not wanting to hear anymore. It's ridiculous anyway; why would someone so good looking and popular as Peeta give up his position as boyfriend of the Mayor's daughter to sleep with- and I quote Madge here- "some Seam brat"?

"What's wrong with them?" Prim asks. "Why were they ignoring you?"

I shrug. "Some rumours about Peeta and another girl were going around yesterday, so I suppose that must have created some kind of rift between them. As for the ignoring me part, they probably hate me or don't want to be associated with me; that's the same with most people in our year at school anyway."

"But, Peeta was staring at you at the end, once he knew his girlfriend couldn't see," she whispers. "He couldn't take his eyes off of you."

"I don't know, Prim," I sigh, rubbing my head. "I can read their minds to see their motives."

Nick stirs as I move, taking hold of the hand I soon replace near to him and mumbling his father's name once again.

"He's gone away for a while, sweetie," answers Annie from the other side of the room. She looks tired as she rubs her eyes on the way over, taking the seat next to me, so that her son can climb into her lap.

"Are you okay?" I ask gently.

"Yeah. I don't think I'll be getting to sleep any time soon, so I didn't think there was any point in staying in bed for another couple of hours and making you look after Nick," she explains.

"Nick was no trouble- don't worry about him if you want to go to sleep," I say.

"No, it's fine. I know you can only stand kids for a little while, no matter how much you like them." She smiles. "Did I hear correctly, though, that Peeta and Madge came in?"

I nod, taking Nick out of his mother's lap and giving him to my sister with the instructions to play with him for a bit. "There's something going on between them," I mutter. "You know you said that there were rumours concerning Peeta yesterday? They were rumours concerning Peeta and _me_. Madge believes he's sleeping with me."

Annie sighs, luckily not asking if I actually am. "Katniss, if she really does think that, they'll sort it out between them; don't think it's your duty to do so."

"If you say so." I'm not actually convinced, though. However, watching my sister and the son of some of my best friends makes me feel a little better, and I slowly venture the question, "How did you and Finnick meet?"

She looks at me and smiles, despite the little tears at the edge of her eyes. "Why? Are you hoping to meet a man in the same way?"

"Oh, no no no no no." I say it definitely, but I blush nonetheless.

Annie laughs. "Erm well... He was really popular at home; not quite royalty but the closest you could be if you weren't it. Everyone loved him and he couldn't escape anyone. I think I must have been the only person he never looked at, so I returned the favour by doing the same, although, to be fair, I think it's because I couldn't bear to look at see him and see him not looking back.

"When he was sixteen, he began to have to run "errands" from the President, ones that he'd consider worse than yours even. This meant that everyone, again, thought that he loved them. Three years later, though, when he was nineteen and I was eighteen and a half, both of our families were out on a fishing trip together, for some reason. There was a storm that night and their boat never returned. Now, at the funeral, we finally spoke and got on reasonably well, considering what had brought us together.

"Afterwards, my family's deaths were beginning to drive me a little crazy, so I went to Finnick for his help, as he was kind of experiencing the same thing. He wasn't there all of the time that I needed him, but he was for most of it. I think that was when I began to admit to myself that I _maybe_ had feelings for him, and then, after a few months of spending time together, he began to show similar feelings too. This led to times when we'd just go out to sea together or walk along the beach, but not for each other's comfort.

"One day- my nineteenth birthday- we swam for hours and then sat on the beach, next to a fire, watching the sun set. That was the first time he kissed me. It was another few months, though, until it was really anything more, because we didn't want to rush anything, and Finnick also had to find a way to stop his "errands". The day I found out that he managed to was the day that he proposed to me, which was three years after we had been going out and on my twenty second birthday. A month later and we were married, moving here, to District Twelve because Peeta and Finnick were good friends and he wanted to "escape", apparently. And then I had Nick, and he just put the seashells on the shore."

And the way that she smiles and begins reminiscing makes me smile properly too, because I know that while her husband is away, she'll have so many times to remember to make her lonely nights worthwhile, as well as so many stories to tell her young son when he will listen. They're lucky, I suppose, and I only wish that my "errands" could stop like they did for him.

* * *

**Author's Note: Okay, this wasn't necessarily a particularly exciting chapter but I hope it was okay. I suppose this one was meant to show the rift that's growing between Peeta and Madge, as well as- I suppose- giving you a bit of history of Annie and Finnick, and you can see Katniss' relationship with everyone, kind of. I said I'd do more about Peeta and Madge in this chapter and I didn't really, though, so I may do that next chapter instead.**

_**Awesomegirl2656**_**: I'm glad you love it- I love you for loving it ;)**

_**RadMalfoyCookie**_**: I didn't realise that the last chapter was so good :P MORE FINNICK!**

**Next chapter: Peeta's history and school. **

**Your question for this chapter: How long do you think it is until Katniss finally splits Peeta and Madge apart?**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next one probably won't be updated as quickly- I go back to school on Monday to exams and more revision :'(- so I'm sorry in advance. **

**Thank you and review!**


	5. Hiatus

I'm going to put all my stories- except for _I Volunteer_- on hiatus for a bit. I'm sorry if you're all going to hate me for this but, basically, I want to finish _I Volunteer_ before summer and, on top of all of my exams, I'm not going to have the time to update everything, in addition to finishing that particular story. So I'll carry on writing chapters for _I Volunteer_ and updating it when I can, but I will begin re-updating all my other stories once that the prologue of _I Volunteer_'s sequel is up.

My plan for after that, though, is:

To replace _I Volunteer _with its sequel

Finish _Safe With Mellark_- this won't have a sequel

Start updating _And From Those Moments _again, after _Safe With Mellark_is done

To continue updating _Secrets In Love_- this currently has forty two chapters planned, plus an epilogue and a prologue, and it will have a sequel

To update _Now Give Us A Kiss _whenever I have the chance, like I was before

And to use the forum I have created for _Panem Facebook: Fights and Fantasies _to have other authors who are willing to write chapters for this story- PM me if you're interested

Thank you for understanding, and I hope it's not too much!

**- MissBunburyHope**


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